Snarkychef’s blog

Here's a link to a not-very-well-done film clip of our new cat that my hubby love made.  The link may show an error if you pause over it, so just click and follow.

1. Madison: Eve
2. Ryanne: Ryanne ("Just like my name") and Neko (Japanese for cat)
3. Julia: Elmo (which is her favorite character at the moment)
4. Lucas: Luke Skywalker
5. Arianna: Sara (she names everything Sara right now)
6. Steve: Boo (after the girl in "Monster, Inc." because all the other cats run from her as she chases them)
7. Mark: Scratch Fury (when reminded that our cat is a girl, he said that it still fits because everyone knows that pissed-off females are the scariest things on earth.  If anyone is confused about who Scratch Fury: Destroyer of Worlds is, you can check him out here.)

1. Leslee: Bastet ("Most cats already have a god complex. Might as well name them accordingly.")
2. Mark: Bastet (almost at the same time as the above entry, but Leslee gets the credit.)
3. TJ: Tootie or Tooter (We might have mentioned the broccoli scented farts to them already.)
4. Madison: Shadow 
5. My new one: Puddin' 

Here are the photos I promised.  It's time to send in your names for the contest!

Coming Home

Exploring

Already making herself at home

I'm a happy cat

As most of our friends know, my cat of 16 years died last year of cancer.  As we are a four cat household, we've been talking about getting another cat for a while.  We wanted to get the operation out of the way before we started seriously looking, but hubbylove has been dragging me to PetSmart on a weekly basis to see the cats they display from local rescue centers. Today we met Juicy.  She's a black shorthair that is just under a year old.  She's very friendly and she and I hit it off right away.  My husband said we could adopt her if she was the one I wanted.  So we will be picking her up tomorrow morning (already got all the paperwork out of the way).

My only problem is the name.  She was named when she was dropped off at the shelter, so she doesn't recognize the name as hers yet, and I am afraid that she may live up to her name if she keeps it.  Being Juicy from the front or behind isn't a pleasant thought.

So here's the contest:  We need a good name for our new cat.  I'll post some photos tomorrow so you can get a look at her.  As for the prize, I'll come up with something in the next day or so and post it.

So far we have: Mrs. Blick, Ursula, Sinca (from my husband), Frankie (that's my suggestion), and Gaz (from a co-worker).  We'd really like other options to choose from.

Just leave a comment with your recommendation for a name for our cat.  We'll leave it open for about a week, or until we find the perfect name.

1.  Your bowel movements will become something you worry about all the time.  That's because the narcotics make you constipated, and the act of pooping is very painful.  So imagine trying to poop out that hard rock of tightly packed shit without blowing out your insides.  Remember, after a vaginal hysterectomy with a bladder sling--you don't want to strain too much.  And yes, everyone will ask you about your bowel movements.

2.  Having loose stool is just as painful as being constipated.

3.  There is a recipe that is referred to as "The Recipe" that is used to help with your bowel movements.  It's one part applesauce, one part prune juice, and one part all bran cereal.  You take three tablespoons in the morning and three at night. It's disgusting, but it works.  I now, however, still have prune juice in my fridge because no one wants to finish it off.

4.  As previously mentioned--I found super glue in my pubic hair.  I was afraid to ask what it was used for when I went back to the doctor's office, so I'm still not sure about it.

5.  Farting hurts and there will be a lot of it.

6.  Cats and children want to climb into your lap after a hysterectomy, even cats and children you've never seen before.  And when I say climb, I mean violently bouncing.  Carry a pillow around with you at all times and make sure you put it in your lab when you sit down.

7.  Having time off from work is great, except that you feel too crappy to enjoy it.  You can't bend, lift anything, everything wears you out, and you tire very, very easily.  And believe me, you can get tired of reading all the time.  I never thought I would feel that way.

8.  This is a great time to catch up on your blog... if you aren't taking narcotics.  Everything I wanted to say on my blog just sat in my head while I kept telling myself that I'd get to it eventually. That didn't happen, even long after I finished my supply of happy drugs.

9.  Your husband will be very good about taking over the chores for the first week or so, and then the help slowly disappears.

10. No sex for six weeks.  The day I was officially released by the doctor, my husband and I did the nasty.... a lot.

11. If you don't have sex for six weeks--you'll be very sore after you make up for it.

You'll find super glue in your pubic hair.

Mom showed up around 9:30 am.  My doctor had already been by and told me how the surgery had gone.  It was adenomyosis.  He said my ovaries and tubes were fine and were left in.  I was given the normal warnings about what I could and couldn't do (as I would find out later - they don't mention everything), and was told that I could have soft food once I was able to pass gas. I was also given the choice of staying one more day or going home late that afternoon.  Guess which one I chose.

Breakfast was chicken broth and a nasty fake orange jello substitute, which I ate as I was STARVING.  It was also at this time when they pulled me off the morphine-like drip and started me on vicodine.

After breakfast, my nurse hauled me out of bed, stripped me down and bathed me while I was standing naked in the bathroom holding on to my catheter bag.  The whole time she was complaining because no one had gotten me a new pad for my bed, or even walked me around.  I mentioned standing up, but that wasn't good enough for her.  And I'm not complaining either, I felt so much better after cleaning up and walking a lap around the hall.  I was bathed, coated in lotion, got to brush my teeth, and she changed the sheets on my bed.  Other than my stomach hurting like hell, I felt great.

Lunch was more chicken broth and strawberry jello.  I complained a bit about this, but they reminded me that I wasn't allowed soft food until I farted.  And yes, that hurts to do.  After lunch we started the pee trials.  They removed the catheter (mild discomfort my ass!!!!) and said that I'd have to pee three times into a measuring device and then after the third time have a scan to see if I was able to void enough for them not to have to put the catheter back in before sending me home.  I was drinking lots of water so I could finish up and get out... not realizing how much it would hurt to pee.

That's not the only thing that hurts.  It also hurts to laugh, open up the bottles with safety tops, clear your throat, my thighs hurt for some strange reason, sitting down hurts, trying to stand up hurts, shifting around on the bed hurts, or any movement at all hurts.  And right now my head hurts.

I'm still not sure how I feel about my husband taking a photo of me after I finally got out of the recovery room. I think I flipped him off before making the "V" for victory sign he asked for.  Monday is still foggy, although any thinking is fuzzy right now anyway.

Mom and my hubby-love waited for me in my room while I was stuck in the recovery room.  That's always fun because Steve is somewhat uncomfortable around my family, and he was already cranky because he had to have me to the hospital at 5:30am.  Once I was able to pay attention to what was going on around me--through the fog of the morphine substitute--I sent Steve home for a nap while my Mom stayed with me.  I hadn't really thought about how comforting it would be to have someone I trust sitting there while I floated around in the mist.

I tried to sleep, but it was difficult to do between the pain, the machines, and that damn catheter. The nurses were patient with me, which was nice.  Mom went home after rush hour traffic was over.  Dinner was a cup of beef broth that was so salty that I only managed to get down two spoonfuls before giving up.  The strawberry jello made me sick, so that was it for dinner.  They gave me three different types of medicine before they were able to get rid of the nausea, and it took a while because they had to get permission for each kind based on the meds they had given me before. 

Steve came back around 7 pm and sat with me while I tried to sleep.  He also brought me my iBook so I could enjoy the free wireless.  I enjoyed listening to him as he talked to his friends on the phone.  He had me talk to Helen for a little while, but it was difficult to concentrate on making sense. I dozed on and off while he was there.  I remember him asking the nurse about why I couldn't sleep longer than a few minutes at a time and she said that it was normal.  Before he left, Steve helped me stand up so I could move around for a few minutes.  My nurse Sara helped out, but I was too groggy to go more than a few steps anyway.

After hubby-love left, I was able to sleep for a few hours before I woke up in the middle of the night.  That was it for sleep for the rest of the day.