Leaving the Hospital

Mom showed up around 9:30 am.  My doctor had already been by and told me how the surgery had gone.  It was adenomyosis.  He said my ovaries and tubes were fine and were left in.  I was given the normal warnings about what I could and couldn't do (as I would find out later - they don't mention everything), and was told that I could have soft food once I was able to pass gas. I was also given the choice of staying one more day or going home late that afternoon.  Guess which one I chose.

Breakfast was chicken broth and a nasty fake orange jello substitute, which I ate as I was STARVING.  It was also at this time when they pulled me off the morphine-like drip and started me on vicodine.

After breakfast, my nurse hauled me out of bed, stripped me down and bathed me while I was standing naked in the bathroom holding on to my catheter bag.  The whole time she was complaining because no one had gotten me a new pad for my bed, or even walked me around.  I mentioned standing up, but that wasn't good enough for her.  And I'm not complaining either, I felt so much better after cleaning up and walking a lap around the hall.  I was bathed, coated in lotion, got to brush my teeth, and she changed the sheets on my bed.  Other than my stomach hurting like hell, I felt great.

Lunch was more chicken broth and strawberry jello.  I complained a bit about this, but they reminded me that I wasn't allowed soft food until I farted.  And yes, that hurts to do.  After lunch we started the pee trials.  They removed the catheter (mild discomfort my ass!!!!) and said that I'd have to pee three times into a measuring device and then after the third time have a scan to see if I was able to void enough for them not to have to put the catheter back in before sending me home.  I was drinking lots of water so I could finish up and get out... not realizing how much it would hurt to pee.

That's not the only thing that hurts.  It also hurts to laugh, open up the bottles with safety tops, clear your throat, my thighs hurt for some strange reason, sitting down hurts, trying to stand up hurts, shifting around on the bed hurts, or any movement at all hurts.  And right now my head hurts.